Saturday, April 30, 2005 @Saturday, April 30, 2005
heyz......i've been ok.......Life hasn't been that great.....been sad n down n thinking that my life is full of crap coz of this things that i have to do and the rules that i have to follow....Its not everyday that u realise that u can't do what u want but have to live up to other ppls standards.....and its not everyday that u wake up knowing that today is gonna be another day where i have to work towards someone else's dreams and not mine....Well,its what i have to do everyday....I never had this problem before because i never really took into consideration what everyone wanted for me.....i always knew what i wanted to be what i wanted to have and what i wanted to do with my life.....but lately its been harder than expected bucause i have to take into consideration what my parents or lets say my mum wants me to do n what job she wants me to have....and its not really a good feeling because at the end of the day i'll be regreting what i did or waht i'm going to do because i followed my mums dreams and not mine....its not easy but its somthing that i know i'll have to live with no matter what....I've broken my parents hearts before and i can't stand to do so again.....so its something that i know i owe them.....its something that they should be entitled to and that is my sucess or it might just become my downfall...but its something that i ow them.....its not everyday that your parents want or need you to do something.......its not that big a favour but i know that i'm one of their last hopes.....and i'm not going to let them down.....Well that was my overview on what has been happening and what has been going thorugh my mind....In detail its like a lot of sadness and regrets....some ppl might know why....but i don't think that anyone really knows the truth coz i haven't told anyone whats really been on my mind.....Think that i better get going soon so until nxt time....BYEZ.....ADIOS......CIAO......