Like I said, letting someone into your life, sharing your life with someone, is not an easy feat to pull off. But we all want someone to share a life with. Maybe a friend or maybe a special someone, but there's always a person we want to share our lives with. I have a friend who says he's gonna be single for the rest of his life. I don't believe him because he's such a great friend even if he doesn't think so. There've been many times when he was there when I needed someone there.

With 2010 coming to a close so soon, I think its important that I thank the people who've helped me get through some things and issues that I've had in the past year.

This year, though I haven't really invested my time and my being to church, God has always been there and brought me through everything that either He placed me in or that I got myself into. I think its important to always remember that God is always going to be there just waiting for us to turn back to Him and say, "I need you". So many times I've felt alone and out of place, but I close my eyes and remember that God is always with me and it makes EVERYTHING sooo much better.

People always say that you can't choose your family. But I couldn't have been placed in a better one. Everyday I thank God for giving me such amazing people to be related to. My siblings, Farrah and Farrel, who make sure that I stay on the straight and narrow and who would beat up anyone who makes me cry. My parents, Mum and Dad, who always put up with all my nonsense but still no matter what, giving me what I want and making sure that I'm a happy kid. I don't think people understand how truly blessed I feel to have the family I have. I don't know many families which can sit and talk about ANYTHING under the moon, sun, stars and sky. My family has helped shape me into the person that I am today and I am truly thankful.

I have to thank God, and I do almost every day, for giving me such a wonderful wonderful Best Friend, Claudia Tay. Though she was away for 7 months this year, she never failed to be that friend I needed her to be when times got tough. We made it babe, through it all, we made it :) 15 years of friendship. Sometimes I watch as people fight and argue with their best friends and I look at them and think, "Are you sure you're best friends?" Maybe its my naivety, but I truly am blessed and thankful that Claudia and I haven't really had big blowouts with each other. When we were younger we got a bit mad at each other over a phone incident which blew over within the hour and recently we had another misunderstanding that got sorted before it could become something big. And I think one thing most people need to remember, is that our friends are not perfect. They will make mistakes, we will make mistakes, but we need to be open enough to understand and be willing to talk things through before they get blown out of proportion. Claudia has ALWAYS been there for me, she's like a jealous boyfriend sometimes. But I love her. She's an amazing person and an AMAZING friend. From MILES away, she makes sure I'm okay and doing well and that I'm not crying my eyes out and if I am, she gets mad at the person who is making me sad. I think to say that she's the perfect best friend is an UNDERSTATEMENT. I love you Bestie, forever and a day

I love talking to you. I love you being near, but you drive me insane.

You don't text or call unless I ignore you. But when I text you, you just don't feel the need to reply. It just makes me feel like crap. If you don't know this by now, I hate being ignored.

I should have stuck to what I wanted to do and that was to ignore you and get you out of my life. Its not healthy for me anymore.

Now if only it were that easy.

So I went to town with Claudia Bestie today :D Feels so good to FINALLY be able to just go out!! I missed her like crazy. Its easier to get through certain things when I'm out with her. Well, not get through, but to forget about a certain someone. So we were supposed to meet at 1.45pm but cause its a Wednesday and I had to help around the house a bit, I ended up only coming down at like 2pm. But Bestie didn't really complain much..I don't think she should by the way (p.s. if you're reading this, you really can't complain cause you used to be the one who was ALWAYS late :D) anyways, so we were just about to leave my lobby when I realised it was raining! And I didn't have a brolly...How stupid of me..but me and Bestie shared one, I would imagine it to be a rather funny sight, a slim girl with a fairly big girl like me under one tiny umbrella... haha..

So we took the bus to town...and like we always do, we left our stop up to chance.. We couldn't decide if we should go one round or stop at Orchard and walk. So Bestie decided that if someone else pressed the bell to alight at Orchard we'd stop there, otherwise we'd go one round. True enough, someone pressed the bell to alight at Orchard and so we got off our lazy asses and made our way to Far East plaza to find Bestie a pair of WHITE HEELS. Gosh!! Bestie is CRAZY particular about what she gets and how it looks...but then again I'd rather she have strict opinions than no opinion at all cause then it would make shopping for the heels rather impossible. So with what she wanted and didn't want in mind, we started our journey of finding those shoes! Think we went to almost every shoe shop that sold heels in Far East plaza...Narrowed it down to a couple and finally went back to the first decent pair that she kinda could've liked...and got them! Half way through or expedition we stopped off to get food! Hahaha...a lil munchies cause Bestie had brunch and I hadn't eaten since breakie that morning. So with our bellies filled we journeyed to re-find the first pair of shoes cause we actually forgot where we saw them. hahaha

So once we got the shoes settled we had a lot of time to waste. I think after that we went to NUM and then to Heeren to just sit and talk the way we have been for almost our entire lives..Random things, and Bestie, being the awesome person that she is, was happily dissing the certain someone I am in the process of washing out of my life, though to be REALLLY honest with myself and everyone else, I really don't think it'll happen. I'm quite incapable of that, I don't know why. Haha

Anyways, I missed being able to just sit and talk with Bestie cause when she was away we couldn't really do that. Mainly cause I'm just not a phone conversation person. I prefer talking to someone face to face or via text or IM. But very very very very very very very very very very very very rarely via a phone call.

So yea, me and Bestie just walked around looking at things and talking and catching up all while waiting for Gabe and Nic to meet us for dinner. So with dinner and Starbucks came the usual banter about anything and everything and getting things wrong and laughing till the entire place could hear us. But then again who cares? When you're in great company, the people around you don't matter as much anymore.

All in all it was a good day. The day with Bestie and with Gabe and Nic kept me from texting you know who and maybe, just maybe I'll get through this in one piece :)

But then I realised that you're just that way.

The person I thought you could be doesn't exist within you.

So now I'm through trying to change you.

I'm just gonna live and let you be.

Well I know that's a lie.

I tried but never got through it.

You're like a drug, I can't do it.

I can't just let you go away.

Its stupid I know

To hold on to someone so tight