I miss the days when things were simple...When I kept my eye on the bigger picture, and wasn't so bothered by the little details.
Today it seems, its all the little details that keep me down...
I've seen so many lives go to waste, so many lives ended in less than a blink of an eye. We always think we've got forever to live and do the things we want and to make something of our lives.
I've seen forever come to an end so many times. And when that forever ends, you realise that they spent so much time doing what other people wanted them to do, chasing money and all that, but for what? Having money is no measure of a life. If all your life you chase money and do what others tell you to, you lose out on so much that life has to offer.
I've watched people throw their lives away, harping on things that may never change. Sure, putting in effort and love and care into something that means so much to you is kinda a meaningful way to live life, but if you know it may never change and that thats all you're gonna be doing for the rest of your life and you hurt the other people in your life because of it, isn't that a worse way to live life? Isn't that like punishing the people who care for you?
I've done many stupid things in life, the worse was letting something get me so down, I didn't want to live. Because of that, the people in my life, the people I loved and who love me too, they had to watch me live as this shell of a human. They couldn't pull me back even if they wanted to. That choice had to be made by me.
I am so glad that in my life I've grown to have a relationship with God. Without God's prompting and my Faith, who knows where I'd be. My mum has always told me that God's prompting and my Faith will always be the one that saves me cause it has, on various occasions and she sees it. And she's not the only one. Another one of my friend, he told me, "If it wasn't for your love of God and your Faith in him, you wouldn't be here, you'd be smashed at the bottom of your block."
I don't know why I'm saying all these things, but I felt that it should be said. :)
God loves us all, sins and all faults, go to Him. Take that first step and he'll take the rest.
Don't dwell on the bad stuff, cause then life will just pass you by. Life won't stop just to wait for you to get back on your own two feet, thats why God provided you with secret angels, the friends he's placed in your life who are always there to help you get your feet back on this ground and to take those steps forward again. But none of it is possible if you don't want to take that first step.
Left Behind from the musical Spring Awakening
You fold his hands and smooth his tie, you gently lift his chin.
Were you really so blind, and unkind to him?
Can't help the itch to touch, to kiss, to hold him once again.
Now to close his eyes--never open them....
A shadow passed, a shadow passed, yearning, yearning
For the fool it called a home.
All things he never did are left behind.
All the things his mama wished he'd bear in mind,
And all his dad had hoped he'd know.
The talks you never had, the saturdays you never spent.
All the 'grown-up' places you never went.
And all of the crying you wouldn't understand.
You just let him cry, 'make a man out of him.'
A shadow passed, a shadow passed, yearning, yearning
For a fool it called a home.
All things he ever wished are left behind.
All the things his mama did to make him mind,
And how his dad had hoped he'd grow.
All things he ever lived are left behind.
All the fears that ever flickered through his mind.
All the sadness that he'd come to own.
A shadow passed, a shadow passed, yearning, yearning
For the fool it called a home.
And it whistles through the ghosts still left behind.
It whistles through the ghosts still left behind.
Whistles through the ghosts still left behind.
Were you really so blind, and unkind to him?
Can't help the itch to touch, to kiss, to hold him once again.
Now to close his eyes--never open them....
A shadow passed, a shadow passed, yearning, yearning
For the fool it called a home.
All things he never did are left behind.
All the things his mama wished he'd bear in mind,
And all his dad had hoped he'd know.
The talks you never had, the saturdays you never spent.
All the 'grown-up' places you never went.
And all of the crying you wouldn't understand.
You just let him cry, 'make a man out of him.'
A shadow passed, a shadow passed, yearning, yearning
For a fool it called a home.
All things he ever wished are left behind.
All the things his mama did to make him mind,
And how his dad had hoped he'd grow.
All things he ever lived are left behind.
All the fears that ever flickered through his mind.
All the sadness that he'd come to own.
A shadow passed, a shadow passed, yearning, yearning
For the fool it called a home.
And it whistles through the ghosts still left behind.
It whistles through the ghosts still left behind.
Whistles through the ghosts still left behind.
This is like my fave song for the moment, its a little sad, but it really is kinda how I feel right now. I don't know if I am the person who is dead in this scenario or if I'm the one singing this to another person.