Saturday, February 11, 2006 @Saturday, February 11, 2006
I so wish that i could just die....Nothing seems to be going right.....the year started off great.....With absolutely no complications....And with me not liking anyone....But now its a whole other story
I wish things weren't so complicated....I wish i can just persue my dreams without having to give a damn about what my parents say or think and without them right in front of me trying to stop me....
I wish that things aren't complicated with me and someone who i might really love....I wish that that someone loves me too....I wish things aren't as complicated as it is for me now in my love life....If i even have one.....I wish that i never have to feel the way i feel now ever again...
I wish so much and so hard....but none of these ever do come true.....And i know that they won't sort themselves out but I just don't want to go on living this way anymore.....Its too painful for me....Having to see all their faces and always feeling overwhelmed....I'm always solving other peoples problems and letting them get all their anger and frustration out even if they want to take it out on me.....But yet I have to keep all my feelings and emotions inside....They don't know how painful it is for me to keep quiet and not to anything about the way i feel.....They don't know what its like having their dreams stumped even though they're so close to it just because they don't want to go against their parents....
All my friends know that i'll always be there for them without a shadow of a doubt even when i'm busy as hell because i don't want to see them suffer....They should know how much i care for them even though i don't say it much.....That someone whom i love shouldn't need me to tell him that i love him because i know that its very obvious....Thats why i never shut up even if he doesn't say anything back...
It just hurts so bad.....Not being able to tell someone that you love them or that you care about them because you fear that it won't be accepted.....Its just tearing me into pieces.....I'm just so lost right now.....Lost in my own emotions.....I don't know what to do anymore.....