Monday, March 13, 2006 @Monday, March 13, 2006
Everyone welcomes the holidays...I on the other hand dread them.It all just means that I have a lot of time on my hands to think and ponder on a whole lot of things that can and will hurt me.
Its so weird...We know when something can possibly hurt us and would most probably hurt us....But yet, we still go after it. But when there's something that may not hurt us and deep down we know that it won't hurt us at all, we run towards the one thing that hurts us the most. Its like an addiction that we really just can't kick the habbit.
We just don't want to move on though all that is being done to us by this something or someone whom we care for is being hurt. Its irritatingly true about me especially.
I rarely see past someones good qualities into who they really are becuase I choose not to accept that part of them because I know that they can always be better. Its all up to them. If they want to be better. Caring for someone doesn't mean that you just care about them only when you see them. A lot of ppl find me irritating with my constant messages of how was ur day and how r u...But its my way of showing concern and care to the people who I really care for. But some of them don't see it that way....And thats how most of my friendship ends coz it shows me how much the person really can care....And....I will try for some time....And keep getting hurt constantly but I still won't give up...Until finally oneday, something within me snaps and I just stop caring...
When someone turns down an act of care or concern, it just feels like as if i've been slapped so hard....That i just refuse to wake up....And somehow, I always end up blamming myself that deep down I know isn't my fault.
I guess its just the way I am...But i know that at times it may be irritating....Just tell me if its irritating and i'll just stop....You don't ever have to talk to me ever again....But always know that I do care....No matter what...