Friday, April 21, 2006 @Friday, April 21, 2006
I've tried my very best to forget about you. Forget about the times we had. And forget about how much I really care about you. I've tried so hard to just leave the memories behind. I've tried to move on from you....To move on to someone who will really care for me. But it never seems that easy. Everything seems to be so complicated. If I forget all about you, how will we work together towards something that so many people are working for. But if I don't, my heart will just continue to pine for you...For you just to be by my side. I don't wanna feel the hurt anymore. I want to be free from this grip that you still have on my heart. I want to be freed from the hurt that entraps my soul.
Everytime I try to leave the past behind. I turn around and see it all there once again...I've Tried not to turn around and watch everything repeat itself all over again like a never ending chain. Everywhere I look, all I see is you face....Your beautiful face...Filled with the love and care that you once posessed. But what I know of you is that you no longer posess the love and care. I keep telling myself that there is nothing left there for me to love....That you're not worth my efforts or the love I've been trying to show you. It all never seems to work.
I've tried so very very hard....But it always ends with me in tears. It doesn't seem fair because you don't seem to feel the pain....You don't seem to feel anything...Any emotion at all. Why do you put me through all this?? Whats in it for you?? What do you get out of all of this?? The satisfaction of seeing me hurt beyond consolation?? You know how much I really care for you....But you never seem to give a damn. How can you even call yourself a human when you don't really care what happens to someone who cares so so so much for you. Someone who would put everything behind her just so that she can love you with all her heart.
When things got worse...Didn't you hear my heart breaking?? You've known how I've been feeling....But yet it all means nothing to you....I mean nothing to you....Its now that I see that you never really did care for me or about what happened to me or how much you really meant to me...It was all a big joke to you...I was your laughing stalk....Nothing more than that....How can you say that you care for people when its so obvious that all you ever do is care for yourself...How selfish can you possibliy be??
Things happened so quickly...It was over before it even had a chance to begin....I've tried so hard to put this all out of my mind.....Though its now that I see that I can't do that coz you're the one that I'm talking about....Not anyone else...But you...