Wednesday, October 01, 2008 @Wednesday, October 01, 2008
You were always there
Catching the tears as the fell
Embracing me with love
But I've always been too blind to see
Though now my eyes are clear
You've moved on
To someone who doesn't care
Come back to me
And I'll show you the love that you deserve
Though things may not always work
I promise you my friendship forever
And I hope you promise me yours.
So I wrote that yesterday when I was at Starbucks in Woodlands with Jean and James. Its been quite a while since I've written something like that and once again I'm sure that the person its about doesn't know who he is because he thinks I'm in love with someone else.
I thought so too until it became clear to me that I can't bring myself to love someone so far away no matter how much I may care for that person. And I feel like a bitch for telling him that I'll love him forever even though it is true, but if it was always meant to be just me and him, I wouldn't feel this way. Would I? This life is just so complicated and most people would just tell me to deal with it because everyone goes through it. And I'm sure everyone does. And as a teen I'm sure its like my job to over dramatise this, but then again, how do you tell apart real love from infatuation?
We all want something we can't have. We want something no one else has. We want something to call our own. Its human nature. Even the people who devote their lives are after something they can't have, world peace or to end world hunger because in their lives they are not at peace and they're always craving for something more. There is a void in the lives that they need filled.
I pray that God will point me in the right direction. I pray that things will follow through and go according to God's will because I know that whatever may happen I may not be strong enough to handle on my own. I've been alone only with God by my side for so long, that now I feel like I'm missing something.