Monday, June 15, 2009 @Monday, June 15, 2009
Sometimes I sit and think about the hand that life has dealt us.
There are days whereby I'm so thankful to have the things and people in my life.
And then there are days whereby I look back and only see the destruction that I left behind.
If there was one thing in the world that I could take back, would be me telling you that I liked you.
Because you'll always and forever be in my heart as a friend.
You're most probably the only friend I've ever lost.
And to you, it may seem like its not lost, but I don't know if we're even still friends.
I miss being there for you.
And I miss you being there for me.
Sometimes it seems like no one else understands nowadays especially.
I miss the times when you would genuinely look at me and say you understood.
Then you'd hug me and call me silly.
I miss your hugs.
They always made me feel like things were more bearable.
I keep trying to find someone who could replace you
But there's no one out there that knows me like you do.
I keep telling myself that its best to move on,
But I keep sitting here wondering what will happen to our friendship.
I put on that smile that you say looks fake everyday.
Honestly, I can't wait for the day when I see you smile my fave smile, the one that lights up your eyes.
As a friend, thats all I can hope for.
To see you truly happy and know that no matter what I'll always be a friend here for you.
Many sleepless nights have followed since that crazy day.
Nights whereby I'd think of everything that I've got in my life
Every person who's made and impact in my life
And then my thoughts settle on you
And I just fall apart
Because never once have I lost someone so dear to me
And I know that it was all my fault.
I confessed, I picked the fights, I ignored you first.
It seems that its all my fault.
And sometimes I don't know how to face the world.
And then I remember you saying something about plastering on that smile and just facing the world.
I wasn't lying when I told you that you're a friend I wouldn't forget even if I wanted to.
You're the only one I've said it to ever.
Thats not a lie.
I've never said that to anyone else ever.
And I really do miss you my dear friend.
You gave me the comfort no one else could give.
You made my burdens lighter.
You're a better friend that you give yourself credit for babe.
I promise you that.