In my 18 years of life, I never really got upset with the way friends treated me, because it was kinda expected because most of them don't hold any position in my life. But recently, friends have been upsetting me so much that I'm glad at least Bestie never does something like that to me.

So I've been living my 18th year on Earth for slightly more than 3 months, almost 4 months.

Sometimes it feels like we take advantage of the people who are really close to us the most. It gets a little bit sad because they're the ones who are always there for us no matter what. Bestie and I were thinking about any time whereby we fought and we could only come up with the time whereby me and her argued about me taking her phone and running around the whole compound with it because I threatened to read the messages inside, and that was like.....5 years ago? Haha, you see, back then, boys were a big thing in our lives. So I think some guys were text-ing her and she didn't want me to see I guess? Haha. But yea, me and Claudia have made an amazing team for almost my whole life. Though I just recalled an incident that made her quite cross with me, I think I injured a girl both of us knew and she thought that I was really mean for doing something like that back when we were kids.

Both of us may not really see each other as often as we'd like, but that was cause she was busy with school and life and I was busy with school and all the music stuff and 'friends' with problems. But whenever life got to overwhelming for either one of us, a phone call was all it took for us to drop things and just meet each other. I know we've both done it for each other before, and for that I am eternally thankful to God for placing such an amazing person in my life.

I started being upset about the whole friendship thing when I realized how little time I had left with Beverly and I started feeling neglected by her which made things that much worse. But Beverly, despite only knowing me for a few years has been one of the friends that I meet close to every week because she's part of the infrastructure that keeps me sane. I think she's only seen me realllllllllllllly cry like once, but I think that was enough for her because I just didn't stop. She may not always know the right things to say, but she always knows the right thing to do. I think that I've been so mad and upset of late that I failed to cherish the moments I had with her and the little time I'll have left with her before she goes off in 2 weeks. The next time I'll see her is when I go to Melbourne in August to see her.

I completely lost sight of what I really believe in. I shouldn't begrudge my friends what makes them happy. But I resented her for spending more time with him and her other friends than me, but its only now that I see I'm not going to be the only person she's going to miss and that if I'd made how I felt known to her, she'd resent me for not letting her spend time with everyone else. I pride myself in being a good friend and knowing when to keep my mouth shut about these things, so even though I didn't like it, I'm glad I didn't say anything to her about it. I'm going to miss Bev, miss seeing her every week, sitting at the Usual just watching the world go by and telling her the things that happened. I'll miss our Friday nights together. I never really had a good friend go away. Especially not someone who became such an integral part of my every day life. But she's moving on to greener pastures and I can only be happy and proud of what she's accomplished.

My two closest friends in the world, Claudia and Beverly, one going away to Melbourne to learn and broaden her horizon, and another, always here with me waiting and happily living. :)

I hope both of them know that there's never a time I won't want to listen and that their problems are not burdens, just more pieces of the puzzle of this big world and that piece just happens to fall near me :) I'll never not help because both of you have done so much for me and helped me in so many ways that you don't even realise how important both of you are in my life :) I may get angry or sad, but at the end of the day both of you always put a smile on my face. And everyday of my life, I thank God that I have both of you :)