So much has been going on, and right now I don't know how to handle it all. I am certain of things that do not make me very happy and I can't do anything to prevent it because if I do, then I might be messing up instead of saving.

I wish I could be the friend you want me to be, I wish I could be happy for your union, but I just feel its wrong all the way down to the pit of my stomach. But how can I burst such a happy bubble? And I struggle, day and night knowing this will come to no happy end, most probably because of the love you share, but it doesn't make it any easier because when this thing ends, I'll have to help pick up the pieces and I don't want to have to do that....But the thoughts keep crossing my mind.

Disappointed in choices made, yet nothing I can do about them. Just when I feel like I've made peace with everything, I realise I haven't made peace with this. And I can't phantom making piece with something I see as wrong.

Maybe I hold my ideals too high, and we don't share the same ideals. I may not have made the same choices as you in life, but I do know the implications of such choices, I was surprised you made them because I would've thought that you understood the price you have to pay. Though the outcome good, would the future still remain as such? I think not.