Monday, December 20, 2010 @Monday, December 20, 2010
I think we all crave to have someone special in our lives..I know I do. But it's not always the person we want it to be. Letting someone in your life then finding out that they're not really the person you thought that they were, it's not easy. But if we don't try, we'll never know. I'm glad I let myself make that mistake. I think for now I'm slowly transitioning away from investing my emotions fully in this one person because at the end of the day, he wasn't really worth it. Do I still want to be his friend, or rather a friend there for him, of course. But I need to do what's best for myself first. I need to take myself out of this situation.
Like I said, letting someone into your life, sharing your life with someone, is not an easy feat to pull off. But we all want someone to share a life with. Maybe a friend or maybe a special someone, but there's always a person we want to share our lives with. I have a friend who says he's gonna be single for the rest of his life. I don't believe him because he's such a great friend even if he doesn't think so. There've been many times when he was there when I needed someone there.
With 2010 coming to a close so soon, I think its important that I thank the people who've helped me get through some things and issues that I've had in the past year.
This year, though I haven't really invested my time and my being to church, God has always been there and brought me through everything that either He placed me in or that I got myself into. I think its important to always remember that God is always going to be there just waiting for us to turn back to Him and say, "I need you". So many times I've felt alone and out of place, but I close my eyes and remember that God is always with me and it makes EVERYTHING sooo much better.
People always say that you can't choose your family. But I couldn't have been placed in a better one. Everyday I thank God for giving me such amazing people to be related to. My siblings, Farrah and Farrel, who make sure that I stay on the straight and narrow and who would beat up anyone who makes me cry. My parents, Mum and Dad, who always put up with all my nonsense but still no matter what, giving me what I want and making sure that I'm a happy kid. I don't think people understand how truly blessed I feel to have the family I have. I don't know many families which can sit and talk about ANYTHING under the moon, sun, stars and sky. My family has helped shape me into the person that I am today and I am truly thankful.
I have to thank God, and I do almost every day, for giving me such a wonderful wonderful Best Friend, Claudia Tay. Though she was away for 7 months this year, she never failed to be that friend I needed her to be when times got tough. We made it babe, through it all, we made it :) 15 years of friendship. Sometimes I watch as people fight and argue with their best friends and I look at them and think, "Are you sure you're best friends?" Maybe its my naivety, but I truly am blessed and thankful that Claudia and I haven't really had big blowouts with each other. When we were younger we got a bit mad at each other over a phone incident which blew over within the hour and recently we had another misunderstanding that got sorted before it could become something big. And I think one thing most people need to remember, is that our friends are not perfect. They will make mistakes, we will make mistakes, but we need to be open enough to understand and be willing to talk things through before they get blown out of proportion. Claudia has ALWAYS been there for me, she's like a jealous boyfriend sometimes. But I love her. She's an amazing person and an AMAZING friend. From MILES away, she makes sure I'm okay and doing well and that I'm not crying my eyes out and if I am, she gets mad at the person who is making me sad. I think to say that she's the perfect best friend is an UNDERSTATEMENT. I love you Bestie, forever and a day
Another friend I'd have to thank would be Gabriel. You've sat down and listened to me go on and on and on about problem after problem after problem. I think the most hilarious thing I've heard you say this year so far was, "When you're calling for Starbucks, then I start to worry cause you never say anything until its too much for you to handle." And I love that you know me so well, almost as well as Claudia does. You understand that I'm fairly incapable of being evil and just like Claudia you're soo protective of me and I thank you for that. I don't always look out for my own well being and sometimes I just jump in head first into anything and everything. I thank you for always being there to make sure that I land on my own two feet and that if I don't you're there to destroy the people who helped me fall. You've been an amazing friend to me when this year has been exceptionally tough on me not having Claudia physically here. With all the Starbucks and drinks...Its been good having you around. When I had issues with somethings in my life you gave me great advice. And from the first time we started becoming great friends, you've helped me open up to people, which was something I needed to help me grow as a person.
Then there's Emman. We don't talk often, but when I need that listening ear you're always there. We haven't had the smoothest of friendships, but we've had one with loads of entertainment and fun. You know me almost as well as I know myself. When I needed someone to cheer me up, you're always the one I turn to because you always know what to say. Through all those kinky IMs you've always made me smile. I don't think that there's a memory I have of you that doesn't make me want to smile. Thank you for being who you are babe :)
Shellie, Indah, Jody and Caleb who have made me smile loads and whom I've had awesome awesome amazing times with be it under the influence of alcohol or completely sober. Movie nights, cooking nights and nights out have all been awesome and you guys have listened to me go on about my problems as well. I only hope that I've been a good a friend as you guys have been to me.
The person whom I'm trying to forget right now. You've helped me be a stronger person. You knew what to say to me to make me believe in myself. You took care of me and made sure I was alright when you knew I wasn't the day before. I thank you for helping me gain the confidence I once had in myself.
Lastly, everyone else who has helped me through this year, Linette, Jerald, Beverly, Tammy and everyone else whom I haven't thanked here yet. Thank you all for making this year such a good one for me.