Tuesday, January 08, 2013 @Tuesday, January 08, 2013
I used to think that I was doing right by myself by being faithful and loyal to the person I loved. But what does it say about my self-worth if the person I love doesn't value me the way I am or doesn't give me the time of day but has the time to comment on pictures of other girls. Yesterday I was helping a friend of mine through an issue she had with her boyfriend whereby he was posting comments about how hot the women he was looking at were. It dawned on me then that I was in the exact same position. If I was able to tell her to either confront him with how she feels or forget about him completely, I have to be able to take my own advice. For years I sat by and watched him do what he wanted to do. I never said a word against him commenting on other girls pictures, calling them hot, gorgeous, stunning, sexy and the list goes on. How much is too much? I've never said anything against it outright, because I don't find the act of commenting wrong, however, what upsets and disappoints me, is the frequency in which it's done, so much so that I feel as though I'm ignored in favor of commenting on pictures of other girls. Every time I see another log of him commenting on another girl's pictures, I feel a physical pain in my chest, so much so that I will immediately close the site. And it's not even jealousy, it's hurt and disappointment. I just don't understand how he can tell me he loves me, and then do something like that this often. Like I said, I've no problem with comments, I'm not crazy enough to believe that it's wrong, boys will be boys. But I just can't stand seeing it every time I open this site and see it. So now I'm faced with a difficult decision, I either forget him completely, or talk to him about it. The worst part of it all, is that I feel more inclined to just forget about him as difficult as it may be because I don't think I'd ever be able to fully trust someone like that.